Countless denials

How many times did I ignore His voice –
Calling me to follow Him?
How many times did I close my eyes and sleep –
When he wanted to talk?
How many times did I give less than my best –
When that’s all He has given me?
How many times did I disobey –
Bringing shame to His name?

I cannot count but I know it’s many
Each fault has added a brick to the wall of my heart
Driving me from my God – further apart
Not by His will, or by mine
But just a part of humanity
It happens all the time.

When will this wall come down – how will I know?
Rescue me God from this prison of self.