Insomnia

Last night I had Insomnia. It's something that I've had on and off over the past seven years. It first started in my first year of university. I would lay in bed restless for hours before managing two or three hours of sleep.

I grew out of that.

It has since returned. It comes when I am anxious, and I am anxious a lot lately. Last night I slept at 11pm, woke at 1am, and didn't fall to sleep again until 5am, finally waking for work at 7am.

So what to do at 1am on a week night? This isn't a huge city. We don't have all night cafe's (however, I'm sure that will not be the wisest move considering the goal is to fall asleep). So, I found my answer in Youtube. Youtube provided me with 15 live songs from Gipsy Kings, and a Japanese foot massage. Again, not the wisest move. Rumba Flamenco guitar does not put oneself to sleep.

So, here I am. A client to service, no sleep, and Volare running through my mind.

Prayer of St Francis

"Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is despair, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that
I may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life."

- St Francis of Assisi

The wisdom of Ghandi

"You Christians look after a document containing enough dynamite to blow all civilisation to pieces, turn the world upside down, and bring peace to a battle-torn planet. But you treat it as though it is nothing more than a piece of good literature."

- Mohandas Ghandi

God is everywhere

God is omnipresent.

As God was with us from our conceptions, knitting us together in the safe place of our mothers wombs, God was also with the woman in our workplace who scolds you to keep your religious comments to yourself, and advocates a womans 'right' to abortion.

As we feel God call in our deep, "here I am", causing wonder and amazement, causing doubts about worldly values and ambitions, God is also with our company CEO's, calling in their deep, "here I am", prodding them to question their worldy values and ambitions.

As God says to His children, the seed of Abraham, those under the covenant, bound to Him by Christ, "I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.", God is also with each Aboriginal, standing homeless in an inner-city park, drinking casks of wine, yelling profanities at eachother, and harrassing passers-by for a dollar, He is desiring for them to hear "I know the plans that I have for you". Desiring each one of them to be bound to Him by Christ.

As God is with you, as you cry and plead for His forgiveness for your sin, your sin of lust, your sin of hatred, your sin of lying, and God says "the day of Grace is here", and He looks at His son, nailed to a cross, gasping for air, unrecogniseable due to the punishment inflicted on him, the hatred directed at him, the sin covering him, shame weighing heavily on him, and we receive that forgiveness with humility and joy, knowing that our Father, our Daddy, has not thrown us onto the streets, out of His family, so does God look at the Jihadi, the one who burns the church and rapes the kaffir, the one who kills the infidel, and seeks to destroy us and our way, and says "the day of Grace is here", as He looks at His son, nailed spread eagle and naked to a cross, with their sin covering him.

As God walks in front of you, calling you forward, but doesn't run off and leave you when you cannot catch up. And as He walks along side you, to comfort you and pick you up when you fall. And as Christ is ready and willing to sit with you, to talk it over with you, and to lovingly discipline you when you do wrong, because you are His child, and all children need discipline. And to remind you that you are deeply loved, and there is a better way of life if you look beyond yourself, so God is also walking in front of your wife to guide, along side your spouse to comfort and pick them up, sitting with your spouse to talk and to discipline, they are His child, they are deeply loved, and there is a blessed life as your spouse looks beyond themself.

God is ominpresent.

He is fully with you, with the totality of His love on you, and He is fully with your neighbour, with the totality of His love on them. He loves us individually, as one who is with us individually, and He loves us collectively, as one who is with us collectively and transends all. He is with each of us, in each of us, alongside each of us, and He transends each of us, so we know that Him, our hope, and their hope, is able to do more - much more - than one who is only man.

Indonesians and Soeharto

I've been casually following the media attention surrounding the ailment of Indonesia's ex-President Soeharto. The main theme of the general conversation is "did the general economic improvements under his regime outweigh the harm done through his oppression of opponents and corruption that signified his reign" and "does he deserve the forgiveness of the Indonesian people" and "does forgiving Soeharto mean calling an end to inquiries into the alleged crimes".



From my perspective there seems to be alot of grey in the moral issues of this case. The majority of middle-class Indonesian's are happy to overlook his crimes out of respect for the economic stability that they enjoyed during those times. Many Indonesian's claim that they enjoyed more prosperity under Soeharto then they currently do. the same can't be said to families who had their father or brothers mysteriously "disappear".

One blogger asks these questions:

Was he a bloodthirsty despot or nation builder? Both? Were his economic achievements tarnished by corruption and human rights abuses? Were there any lasting economic achievements to balance against the reported human rights abuses?

My thought's on this? Well, I'll post an essay soon about my thought on this and similiar situations, but in the meantime let me state - Abuses of human rights (read: made in the image of God and therefore carry intrinsic worth) cannot be justified through a "healthy" economy (our western perception turns a blind eye to the injustice done to the worlds poorest citizens in the bid to build our "healthy" economy).

Here are some links covering the developing story:

• Indonesia Matters: Soeharto and the people
• Indonesia Matters: Forgiveness
• BBC Article on Soeharto

And for general interest about Soeharto, the Wikipedia entry.

A bit of a break... a bit of fiction

After reading such an intense book on social justice and the Kingdom of God (Everything Must Change: Jesus, Global Crises, and a Revolution of Hope - by Brian D. McLaren) I think that it's time for a step back to collect my thoughts and decide my next actions. I'll be doing this while reading a couple of fiction novels. I've chosen two novels from highly acclaimed author Khaled Hosseini. My wife will read The Kite Runner while I read A Thousand Splendid Suns. We'll then swap. Both books have received exceptional reviews and I'm looking forward to losing myself in the stories told. I'm hoping that I may also gain a bit of an education experience as both stories are about life in pre and post-Taliban Afghanistan.

Wouldn't it be great if...

...the Church in Australia were to achieve unity while maintaining our colourful diversity. This unity will be in our common foundation - the foundation that Jesus laid, building on the same rock. Our teachings will reform. We will humble ourselves. Many of our family will return to Orthodox teaching and many will begin to practice what they teach as Orthodox. We are not all going to be on the same page at the same time. Our faith will become more personal and less private. It will begin to see our role as ambassadors of the Kingdom of Heaven, and begin to re-evaluate what it means to be Ambassadors of that Kingdom. We will begin to understand that today is all we have. The Church in Australia will be a lighthouse and a salt shaker in this land and this region. Each Christian will understand that they are ministers of reconciliation. We will learn from each other, and like today’s multi-cultural children born to parents of different races, the world will struggle to paint us with any particular brush as we begin to look more similar, and best of all we will begin to look more beautiful.

When the ones we love...

What do we do when the ones we love are making bad choices and we fear that the results will be painful for them? When we can see the mistakes that they are making, but they won't except correction. When we fear that their habits will cause them much grief in the end, but they won't admit them. They shut us out. They refuse our advice. It seems that all we can do is sit back and watch them fall.

I propose two things...

1. Ask ourselves why we have been shut out and why our advice or helpful gestures are refused. Do we need to make ammends in our own life? Are we treating the ones we love as a 'project' or arrogantly thinking that we have all the answers (i.e., if they only listen and do what we say then it will all be good), or we don't take the time to put ourselves in their shoes and see life through their eyes, from their perspective? If this is the case, let's examine our conscience and earn the right to talk into the lives of our loved ones. We may be in a good spot now, but we are human. We are susceptible to failure.
   
   
2. We are never without hope. If we have examined ourselves and are speaking into their lives out of a pure heart for their benefit, and they still don't listen, we have a Redeemer. That's the great thing about the Christian life. Our God bears our burdens with us. When we are tired, God lifts us up. We pray, God responds. Pray humbly to God. God loves our loved ones more than we do and He knows what they need more than we do. Pray for God's will to be done. God knows what is best. Because of His great love, we are not forsaken. We have healing for today and hope for tomorrow.
   

Let's spend more time examining ourselves and praying for our loved ones. God knows best.

Web 2.0 and Digital Cameras

I have been lazy adopting the latest Web 2.0 technologies. This is not a good habit to develop since I work in Technology Consulting. So, in the last week I made up for my indescretion. I now have:

• Facebook (signed up 3 months ago)
• Del.icio.us (I'm still unsure if I made the right decision, perhaps I should have chosen DIGG)
  
• YouTube profile

At the moment I'm only using Facebook for work colleagues and friends. I'm not sure yet if I want to start adding my favourite authors and bloggers (e.g., Brian McLaren). Some of my mates have over 400 contacts in their list. I don't want to go to that extreme.

I also lost my digital camera on Christmas Eve. We are currently looking for a new one. I'm tempted to purchase a DSLR (in particular Canon ES 40D), but they're too expensive and I can't justify the cost since I'm not a pro. So, we might settle once more for a compact Digital, probaly Canon IXUS 960 IS. It's still a bit $$$ but hopefully it will give me piece of mind on our holidays, and we do use our camera alot (everyday a photo of something will be taken).

We considered getting a bridging camera (in between a compact and a DSLR, e.g., Canon S5Is) but the only plus I can see is the 12x zoom. My bias is toward size rather than zoom. Anyway, we'll hopefully decide before the City wide sales have ended.

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

I wrote this blogpost one week ago but didn't post it because I still hadn't decided how I feel about the whole thing. Sure I am saddened, but I didn't know enough of the context to articulate my thoughts in a meaningful manner. First, the following two paragraphs contain my original thoughts, and then this link will take you to a good post by author Brian McLaren called Mourning Benazir Bhutto.

Pakistani former Prime Minister and advocate for democracy - Benazir Bhutto - was assassinated yesterday. This was a sad day for Pakistan. I have been casually following the Bhutto story since she returned from self-imposed exile 2 months ago. There have been attempts on her life since she returned to Pakistan, and she knew the risk of continuing her mission. She had the opportunity to remain in the comfort and luxury of the West, but her desire for the people of Pakistan was stronger than her fear of death.

Benazir Bhutto (June 21, 1953 - December 27, 2007)

Let's take the time to remember other martyrs who have died or are currently staring in the face of injustice as they seek a better, more humane life for their people, especially Aung San Suu Kyi (the Burmese peace activist) and all the men and women of peace in their own neighbourhoods and the slums around the world fighting to give people the dignity and respect that we all deserve. I'm sure there is a great difference between those fighting for democracy and those fighting against injustice in the name of Christ, but let's never underestimate the noble sacrifices made by people who are willing to give up their life for the hope of a better, safer world.